Good Health Magazine...

Last Thursday I had a photo shoot for Good Health magazine - April issue.  I have an article in there about my BRCA journey and the issues I face - mostly about my fear of losing my femininity.  I am still coming to terms with losing my breasts and ovaries/fallopian tubes and most of my fears are that I wont feel sexy anymore, or that I will feel like less of a woman.

The photo shoot really helped me actually.  The makeup and clothing were immaculate and the way they made me feel, I felt like such a princess!  Also having a male photographer tell me I look gorgeous and sexy helped too (but I know its just his job)

So I'm not sure when the April issue comes out, Ill let you all know!

Long overdue update!

So its been over a year since my last update!!  Time has flown....

Mum has had recurring trouble with the breast that had cancer, she has had numerous infections and has had to have Permacol inserted to act as a sling to hold the implant in place, as the flesh around it is absolutely buggered!  Between Christmas and New Years 2012 she had the implant and surrounding flesh taken out, after about the 5th infection needing hospital treatment.  She isn't getting another implant in that side, so at this stage she is waiting for a funded prosthesis.

We moved to Te Atatu South!  Our house is amazing and so is our pool! There is so much room here for everyone, we don't feel like we are in each others pockets like at the other place.

I went to The Gift of Knowledge conference in October 2012 - it was amazing!  A lady I used to work with went as well (she has BRCA2 as well), and we found the information and speakers invaluable!  I got information about how the BRCA genes are found via the genetics team at Auckland Hospital and also heard about all the various implants and reconstructions they can do - They can even create nipples out of the woman's labia.... They had speakers for oncology and fertility as well.  I was so blessed to get a scholarship through TGOK!

I have also been seeing the Breast Clinic Psychologist - she has been absolutely wonderful!  Helping me with body issues around losing my breasts and ovaries and also helping me with losing weight with CBT.  I have been doing Weight watchers for 3 weeks now and its so easy this time around!!

So after all that, we have decided to try for another baby now, and I will have the surgery after that.  I know I'm too-ing and fro-ing but its quite a hard decision to make :p

Its been so long!

Sorry I havn't posted in a while! Lots of things have been happening!

1. We are moving! To Te Atatu South - its a bigger place with a POOL!! We will still be living with my Mum, but thats all gravy baby!

2. My biopsy results came back negative. I am on 6 monthly Mammograms and Ultrasounds and I will also be having ovarian cancer screening too.

3. I have decided that I will probably have the surgery before I have another baby. So, as much as i hate the idea, I wont be able to breastfeed. At least I wont get cancer aye!!

I think thats all my news for now, ill update if I think of anything else thats happened lol.

Decision time

I have been so stressed out lately regarding money and finding a place to live so we could have another baby asap, so I could have my surgery asap (because I wanted an abdominal flap recon) - The other day I had an epiphany. I need to have implants in order to get what i want in life. If i just shut up and get implants, I can have the surgery asap, and still be able to have kids afterwards. If i went with the AFR then I wouldnt be able to have kids after.

I was being so selfish, not thinking of others. I thought poor me, i have this gene and i want what i want (recon wise) and theres nothing more to say about the matter. I have slowly realised that I cant have what I want, its just not viable, and i have to think of my family as well in this.

So next month, when i see the surgeon again (or before if my biopsy results are bad) I will tell him I have changed my mind - I actually feel so much better making this decision, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders :)

Stuff and Things....

So following on from my last post, I went to my appt and NOTHING showed up. These lumps I felt are there, yet there was nothing on the ultrasound and the mammogram. Suffice to say, I went home feeling very deflated and down.

Today I went to my 3 monthly appt with the breast surgeon. I told him about the lumps and how nothing showed up, he decided to do a biopsy to see if there is actually anything to worry about. So glad he did, once the results come back my mind will be at ease.

He told me that because of me wanting the abdominal flap reconstruction, that I will need to have my babies before I have the surgery. Good times. So I have to wait all that much longer before having the surgery.

They are putting me on a high risk screening program. I will have ultrasounds and mammograms done every 6 months and an MRI done once a year, until I have the surgery.

So now I have all my questions answered, a sore booby and man I feel sooooo much better about the whole situation!!! WEWT!

Appt

Wel, I have my appt tomorrow at Auckland Hospital. They want me to have a Mammogram and Ultrasound. They had to slot me in at 1.30pm, so I may have to wait to be seen as it isnt an actual appt time, but i dont mind waiting. Its normally Mollys sleep time, so with mum being home with her infection, she can keep an eye on her. And i dont really want her with me when im getting the stuff done, she will just be a dork the whole time lol.

hmmmm

So the other day i was self examining and came across a couple of lumps in my right breast, I went to the doc today to get checked out and she found 3 - 2 are pea size and 1 is long, she has referred me to Auckland Hospital for both a mammogram and an ultrasound, because im so young the mammograms are much harder to go by, they dont detect as well as when you are older, something about the breast tissue being denser.

So i should hear back from the hosp in the next week or so, so ill keep you all updated with the findings :)